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Chapter One
Ray stood in the kitchen, not paying much attention to what sounded like TV static in the background. He was busy trying to open up a jar of Mayonnaise, while his younger brother, Clarke watched TV.
"Can't you fucking turn that down?!" Ray yelled at him, exasperated at himself for not being able to get the jar open.
Clarke ignored him and wiggled around on the couch. Clarke didn't look anything like his older brother, red hair, freckles, and blue eyes and not quite sixteen yet. Clarke was thin and scrawny looking. Ray had dark hair, piercing dark eyes and pale skin.
Godammit, that's the last thing that little fuck's gonna do to me, Ray thought angrily to himself.
"Look, if you wanna eat, make your own fucking sandwich! I'm late for work," Ray walked away from the jar to the family room, as he yelled at his brother again.
"Whatever," Clarke's reply as Ray stormed out of the family room and disappeared to the hallway. Clarke shook his head and continued watching TV, ignoring Ray's rants while he scrambled in getting ready for work. "What time you'll be home you think?" Clarke asked Ray very calmly.
"Late...Don't be fucking awake when I get home, you have school tomorrow," Ray said before he grabbed his jacket and was out the door.
A few moments after Clarke heard the door slam, he walked to the kitchen and looked at the banged up Jar of Mayonnaise. He pulled out a butter knife from one of the drawers, gently tapped the top of the jar, and then with absolute ease opened it.
"Don't know what his fucking problem was," Clarke muttered under his breath with a smile on his face. Clarke went ahead and continued to put the mayo on the bread, and then the cheese and grilled it.
Clarke ate his dinner at the couch, so he could watch TV. He was alone, no parents and no asshole big brother around. He wanted to reach for the phone, but he didn't have any friends to call. Clarke went back to his bedroom and reached under his bed, pulling out a shoebox with VHS tapes in it. He knew if he was caught with these videos, his mother would ground him for years, throw him out even. Even the titles of the videos were salacious enough: Double Trouble, Stroking Time, he knew that this was porn, what type of porn; he hadn't a clue. He'd always been afraid that someone would find out that he watched porn in their house: being the baby of the family.
Well, what the fuck does Ray care? He's an asshole, has nothing better to do than to beat the crap out of me, Clarke thought to himself. Fuck, I'm almost sixteen; half of the guys at my school already banged a couple of girls. Clarke was a virgin and it showed, he wasn't a geek, just kept to himself, and only had a couple of friends. He hated his older brother, Ray; in his opinion was a bully and all around asshole.
The phone rang in Clarke's room, he didn't think it was for him, but he answered it anyway.
"Hello?" Clarke asked the other side of the line.
"Hey dude, how come you're not hanging out with us?" It was his best friend, Tim's voice on the line. Tim, his only best friend he's ever had, was on the phone with him, right now.
"I can't, my brother didn't tell me what time he's off and if I'm not here, he'll beat the crap out of me. Where you going?" Clarke asked him.
"Nuthin' going on. Anyone home, though?"
"Naw, my mom, she's in Florida, won't be home until another week, so I gotta put up with Ray til then. You wanna come over?" Clarke asked him.
"Yeah, sure. Be there in about fifteen, kay?"
"You driving or walking over?"
"Gonna walk over, don't want get caught with mom's car in front of your house. You know that Ray'll squeal if he sees it."
"Kay, see ya then," Clarke said as he hung up the phone.
Clarke knew that lately Tim's been borrowing his stepdad's new BMW without his parent's knowledge; he went with him on a couple of joyrides. Clarke was pretty excited that Tim was coming over as he jumped onto his bed, as he held up two VHS tapes. He wondered if he should mention the porn tapes to Tim, he wasn't even sure what's on the tapes, if it'll freak him out or not. Clarke decided to put the tapes back into the shoebox and put it all away under his bed.
Clarke went back into the family room and put away the dishes and put everything away before Tim arrived.
Tim let himself into the door, as he always did when no one was around. Tim found Clarke on the couch, sat down as Clarke flipped stations.
"Where does Ray hide his porn mags?" Tim asked Clarke, as Clarke choked while drinking water.
"Don't think he's into that shit, man," Clarke said to Tim, trying to discourage him. But he knew better, Tim was going to head towards Ray's room to take a look for himself.
"C'mon, he'll fucking kill me if we go into his room, dude," Clarke argued as he followed Tim into Ray's room.
Ray's room was a mess, as always, Tim looked under Ray's mattress and found several Playboys underneath. He immediately flipped through it.
"Miss April's very nice, you think?" Tim opened it up as he showed the centerfold to Clarke.
"Put his shit away... Besides, I have some porn vids in my room, wanna watch?" Clarke proposed to him, which raised Tim's eyebrows even more.
"Really? You steal it from Ray?"
"Naw found it someone else's trash down the street. I have no idea what's on it, in fact, no fancy labels, pictures, or anything."
"Might be kiddie porn eh?"
"I doubt it. I'm gonna totally burn it, if it is."
"Yeah, you'd get your ass arrested, dude."
Next thing Clarke knew, they were both in his bedroom, going through the shoebox on top of his bed.
"Double Trouble? Better be two chicks getting banged," Tim said and then laughed. Clarke didn't like the way Tim said that, it sounded too much like something that Ray would say and he hated him. Clarke gave Tim a really sharp look and then shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno, I have no idea what's on these tapes. It could be really fat women or something really gross."
"You do have a remote doncha?"
"Yeah, well..."
Tim grabbed the tape with the title: DOUBLE TROUBLE, and ran out of Clarke's bedroom to their large flatscreen TV in the family room. Clarke walked up to the VCR below the large TV, after Tim gave him the tape, put it in the machine.
They both sat down on the couch, Remote are now in Clarke's hands. They both sat next to each other, Tim's eyes were glued to the TV set and nothing else.
When Clarke was about thirteen years old, he found a couple of porn tapes in his brother's room and watched one of them. It was this really low quality amateur porn video, and woman didn't look all that hot and watching the guy ejaculate all over the camera lens didn't do it for him either.
This video definitely wasn't amateur porn, but it had all of the usual clichés that Clarke expected to see on a porn video, the music and the women had nice shaped breasts, but probably not real.
The male performer was blonde, little hair on his chest, blue eyes, and a perfect ass to boot. His character had your usual porn stage name like Stryke Boner, something like that. The Premise was that this good looking guy who was dressed to look like a nerd had issues with his computer or his massively expensive sound system. The Boner guy called a service person to come to his house and check on his sound/computer system.
"Oh, geez... I can totally see where this is going," Clarke remarked.
"No plot and really cheesy sex, Heh," Tim chucked and then continued to watch the video.
They continued to watch the video; Clarke anticipated what type of bimbo would show up at guy's door in the video. The next scene, the doorbell rings, and this guy let in two service people, one guy, and one girl wearing uniforms. The girl was pretty enough, blonde with her hair up, rimmed glasses, held onto a clipboard while her male partner was a tall guy, curly brown hair and dimples on his face. The nametag on her uniform read: Holly and her partner introduced himself as Dick which made Clarke giggle a little.
Holly asked to see the wiring for the sound system, which was conveniently located on the other side of the wall, in Boner's bedroom, while her partner starts fiddling around with the main character's computer. Boner makes small talk with the male technician and then heads over to his bedroom to discover that the girl has her tool belt on her and nothing else.
"I work much better when I'm not so hot," Holly says seductively, with her hair down, her perfect shaped ass showing with the tool belt around her nice waist.
"You think you could fix the wiring?" Boner asks her, obviously unaware that she wants to seduce him in his bedroom. She flutters, bats her eyelashes and then faces him, making sure that the main character got a good look at her perfectly formed nipples.
For crappy porn, I'm getting turned on, Clarke thought to himself as he felt his cock moving around in his pants, getting harder. He re-adjusted himself, so his friend wouldn't notice; he didn't want Tim to see him like that. Clarke looked at Tim for a few seconds and saw that he kept licking his lips, concentrating on what was on the screen.
Clarke watched the main character and Holly have sex on the bed, her tool belt stayed on the floor most of the time. Clarke knew that Tim had already started masturbating and he was afraid to look. Clarke had a hard time keeping his hands out of his pants, but he felt weird with Tim there. But then again, Tim was already doing it, what does he have to lose? He didn't want Tim to think he was queer or anything like that; it's hard enough listening to Ray calling him a faggot.
The main character leaves his bedroom still naked and finds Dick naked in his living room putting small tools away into a small case.
The Main Character checks out Dick's ass and then spoke, "What do I owe you?"
Dick gave the cheesiest answer, "This is very hard, if you could help me with this, and I'd consider it as payment." Dick with his smile, strokes his long hard cock. Dick sits down on the main character's couch with his hand on his hard cock, inviting him to suck on it.
"Oh fuck, just what I didn't want!" Tim exclaimed as he stopped to masturbate.
Clarke made the mistake of turning his head toward Tim; he tried not to get distracted by Tim's cock, he'd never seen it hard before. As the main character starts giving Dick a blow job with Holly watching, Clarke paused the tape.
"Dude, I had no idea it was that kinda porn. Let's watch a different one, unless they're all like that or something," Clarke said, noticing that Tim hadn't zipped his pants back up or try to conceal what he had been doing during most of the video.
"Naw, sucking cock is sucking cock, might as well finish watching it," Tim said to him.
"I dunno... two guys, you think they'll fuck? I don't think I could handle butt fucking."
"C'mon, what's a little ass fucking? It's not gonna turn us gay or anything, unless you're afraid or something..." Tim challenged Clarke.
He hated when Tim challenged him like that, made him want to do it even more.
"Kay," Clarke defiantly answered and then unpaused the video. Clarke was fascinated by the two men having sex. Eventually the two men take turns having sex with Holly and Tim was back to masturbating again.
Clarke felt his cock getting hard again and instead of doing what Tim was doing, he excused himself to the bathroom. He just couldn't play with himself in front of him, even though they are best friends. Clarke grabbed a porn mag out of his room and then sat in the bathroom and masturbated while looking at hardcore photos of women.
When he was finished, he saw Tim on the couch, his pants were up and the videotape stuck out of the VCR. He was flipping TV channels at this point and he looked pretty relieved.
"You need to get a better porn selection, dude," Tim told Clarke as he sat down quietly, not saying a word to Tim.
Tim got up and grabbed some chips and two Pepsis, they both watched TV for a while, still quiet. Clarke didn't know what to say to Tim and vice versa.
Tim broke the silence, "Sorry if I freaked you out man."
"Don't worry about it. I'm just surprised, that's all," Clarke explained meekly.
"Why?"
"Cuz you've been laid before."
Tim laughed and then answered him, "So? I've only done it like twice, I still gotta take care of the sausage once in a while."
That sounded way too much like Ray, Clarke thought and then flinched at his statement. Tim usually didn't talk about that kind of stuff. In fact like Clarke, he had an interest in computers, games, and coins. Clarke wanted to talk more about his coin collection; well actually he collected different types of money, mostly foreign currency. His Grandfather's coin collection is what got him started in that. At this point, Tim was more interested in sex and well, he's at least a year older, he didn't expect to always talk about the nerdy stuff that he enjoyed doing forever.
Clarke looked at Tim; he wished he had blonde hair like his. Tim was pretty good looking, he very well could have a lot of girlfriends, but he didn't. He was never picked on or anything like that, he was picky with who he wanted to be friends with. He knew that Tim wasn't a virgin, he was 17 years old and has had a couple of girlfriends, and most didn't hang around for long. Clarke had a girlfriend once, when he was fourteen at summer camp, she was okay, the usual summer fling, he didn't get any further than second base.
"Get anything new?" Tim asked Clarke, referring to his money collection.
"Naw, a couple of two dollar bills. They're so hard to come by."
"Which series?"
"They're all from '95. It'd be so cool if I had one from 1976. I haven't seen any 2003 series though. Been trying to collect the new state quarters, but as usual Ray goes through the shit in my room and fucking steals everything."
"Which states do you have?"
Clarke took Tim back to his bedroom, Tim sat down on his bed while Clarke went through his closet and pulled out a big box with little drawers in them made for coins and bills. Clarke showed him several Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Kentucky quarters.
"California's not out yet?" Tim asked him.
"September of next year. Wisconsin and Iowa should be released like this month, but I haven't seen any yet."
"Cool, any good foreign currency?"
"Been trying to see if I could find some old Iraqi currency from Ebay, no such luck yet. I probably oughta get a job or something to help pay for my stuff, but unless I have a car I dunno how I'm gonna do it."
"Speaking of which, my dad wants me to work for him next summer. I did it last year and it was all right, he might have couple openings next summer, you wanna? It'd be fun, we'd work together."
Clarke nodded, he wasn't sure if he was ready to get a job yet, but he knew that his mom wouldn't help him pay for his currency collection forever.
"Doing anything this weekend?" Clarke changed the subject; thinking about his expensive hobby depressed him.
"Nothing much... hang out at Nick's, maybe go car shopping or something."
Nick's was a popular diner; Clarke knew that Tim liked this girl, Celeste that hung out there. Unfortunately Celeste doesn't know that Tim even existed, but he never gave up trying.
"You know she'll never go out with you, not if that goon continues hanging on her shoulder." Clarke was referring to Rob, this jock that always hung around Celeste, although they didn't date. Rob was always trying to get Celeste to go out with him, but she always turned him down. Celeste had her own circle of friends, but she wasn't in the "in-crowd" so Clarke never understood why Rob was interested in her.
"He only hangs on her because she's this conquest he'll never have. She probably has never done it and I guess it's his challenge to see if she'll put out, such a fucking Neanderthal. I dunno why I even fucking bother, she doesn't even know that I exist anyways."
"Dude, there are other girls out there. You have any weed?"
"Yeah, I do. I'm surprised you didn't mention it during the video. So, I've been wanting to ask you, what were you doing in the bathroom?"
"What you think?"
"Figured it was the same thing I was doing. Hey man... you need to loosen up, no big deal if you gotta whack off. Hell, I did."
"Aren't you afraid?"
"Afraid of what? We've known each other since first grade dude; it wasn't like I was checking you out or anything. Oh... you were afraid that I'd think you---"
Clarke wouldn't look at him when Tim said that, he just felt embarrassed, like he wasn't good enough. He hated feeling like he had to compete with the rest of the male race, that he'd be put under a microscope or be laughed at.
"Just drop it, kay?"
"Are you afraid I'd laugh at you? C'mon, contrary to what they sell to everyone out there, Size doesn't really matter. I don't think I'm that big, I'm pretty average and average's pretty cool in my book."
"Yeah, and that I'm a total virgin."
"Sex's overrated, trust me. I need to find you a girl to teach you this stuff, like a good friend or something."
"At least girls can practice kissing, all I have is the fucking pillow."
"What about that girl you met a couple of summers ago? What happened with her?"
"Brenda? Summer camp fling and I didn't get very far with her. She took off her top, and I don't think she liked what I did. I'm just a total loser, probably gonna be watching bad porn for the rest of my life."
"Drop 'em," Tim commanded, pointing at Clarke's crotch.
"What?"
"You heard me, drop your pants, I'll tell you if your dick's worth feeling sorry for. C'mon, do it."
Clarke hesitated for a minute, he really didn't want to drop his pants for Tim, and he felt very uneasy about it. What if my dick gets hard and he notices? He'll think I'm gay or something, Clarke asked himself. Clarke shrugged and reluctantly dropped down his pants, feeling humiliated, as he showed his non-erect cock to Tim.
Tim nodded, chuckled, and said, "Dude, what's your fucking problem? What's the fuck is your complaint?"
Clarke looked down at his cock and then at Tim, and he started to feel like he'd been acting like a complete ass. After seeing Tim's dick, he realized that his wasn't that small after all. Clarke pulled his pants back up and then sat in front of his computer at his desk.
"Your parents gonna buy you a new computer or what?" Clarke asked Tim, changing the subject.
"Naw, they're buying Jamie a new one and I'm getting her old one. Although hers isn't bad, just used."
Tim was referring to his sister, Jamie, who's in college. She was blonde and beautiful, Clarke used to fantasize about her incessantly. She had long legs that could stop traffic and intelligence that rivaled most girls he knew. But of course, she's at least twenty years old, and most girls he knew were his age. From thinking about her, Clarke's cock started to get hard, good thing that Tim was busy putting some weed into his small ceramic pipe.
Tim smoked weed while Clarke surfed the net, until he passed the pipe over to him. Clarke picked up his Laptop and then both boys continued surfing and getting high on his bed.
"Any good porn sites?" Tim asked Clarke. Clarke really hoped that Tim would let this topic DIE. He already felt uncomfortable about Tim whacking off earlier and now he's seen his cock, he really didn't want to go down that road again.
"Naw, don't want my mom finding my bookmarks."
"You do too have porn sites bookmarked!" Tim said as he grabbed Clarke's laptop and went through his bookmarks and found several porn sites. "I know your mom doesn't search for crap on this, you're full of bullshit sometimes. Have some more weed, here." Tim handed him more weed to smoke as he surfed a couple of porn sites. Clarke gave up trying to change the topic or keep Tim away from anything sex related and got high.
"Ever get blown before?" Tim asked Clarke.
"What?" Clarke asked as he choked on the smoke.
"That girl Brenda... Did she suck your cock?"
"No. I was only like fourteen."
"You remember Amanda?" Tim asked him until he nodded his head and then continued with his story, "Before we had sex, she'd give me head and man, it was the best thing in the world, better than the actual sex. Hey, here's this site with chicks blowing guys."
Clarke really didn't care much for this talk; it was too much like Ray's mentality. Clarke felt like Ray treated girls like dirt and he hated it. He didn't like the way Tim was reacting; in fact he's never seen him like this before.
"This is pretty good weed. You know, I don't think Ray's coming back really soon, wanna run over to get more food or something?" Clarke asked, still trying to distract Tim from sex.
"You okay?" Tim asked him, giving him an uneasy look.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Clarke's voice trembled a little bit. Clarke didn't want to think about how Tim liked to masturbate, or look at his cock. He just wanted to stay friends with him, this was stuff he really didn't want to know about him. The image of Tim's hard cock was too hard to shake out of Clarke's head, he just couldn't do it.
Clarke smoked more weed, he just wanted to get it out of his head. He passed the pipe over to Tim and then he continued to smoke the rest of it. Both of them didn't talk much after that, Clarke enjoyed being stoned and then Tim left around ten o'clock. After all, it was a school night, and Clarke didn't want to think about the homework he's late with. I guess it's something I'll be doing in the library, Clarke thought as he fell asleep.
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